When your marriage is on the rocks and divorce is likely the answer, it is only natural for you to have second thoughts. But for many parents, the second-guessing part is not as much about thinking they can still work things out with the other person through forgiveness and reconciliation. Instead, they are focused on the children and what is best for them amid this very difficult situation.
This is the right attitude to have. You should be thinking about your children and how they will be impacted not only from the divorce but also if you choose to stay in the troubled marriage. That said, avoiding divorce and staying married primarily for the kids’ sake is generally not a good idea.
5 Reasons Why You Should Reconsider Staying Married for the Kids’ Sake
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Children are perceptive
If you stay married for the kids’ sake, it is possible that the bad things in your relationship (constant fighting, domestic violence, financial distrust, adultery, etc.) will not improve. Your kids are perceptive; thus, it will be difficult to hide it. They will sense this anger, tension, and conflict. Furthermore, they will hear, see, and feel the arguments and hostility. This is a toxic and stressful environment that no child should experience or be stuck in the middle of, and you could be setting the stage for your kids to suffer from mental health issues in the future.
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You are putting off the inevitable
It is commendable if you genuinely want to work on your marriage and avoid divorce. But if divorce is truly the answer, and there is no way around it, there is no sense in dragging it out so that you can stay married for the kids’ sake. Consider the lessons you may teach your children when you stay in an unhealthy marriage.
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You are modeling unhealthy relationship dynamics
Beyond your children potentially suffering long-term mental health effects, the fact that you are staying together for “their sake” could be setting the stage for your kids to follow your example down the line. They could absorb negative behaviors that impact their future relationships, and the cycle could continue with your grandkids.
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Your kids might become resentful
Your intentions are pure if you choose to stay married for the kids’ sake. You only want your children to be with both parents, even if the marriage is not going well. What you might not see right now is that unhappy or unhealthy relationships breed unhappy and unhealthy feelings in your children. This can lead to them feeling resentful toward you.
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You may be less patient
When things are not going well in your marriage, you will likely have less patience, energy, and emotional availability for your kids. It is not that you no longer love your kids. They are everything to you. But when your mind is cluttered with so much negativity and feelings of being stuck in a marriage that is not improving, you could come across as detached. This can negatively impact your kids in a variety of ways.
I firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage and that the grass is always greener where you water it. So, when there is an opportunity to save a marriage, I am all for it. Not to mention, children thrive in secure families where both parents are under one roof. But to stay married for the kids’ sake is not is generally not a good idea for anyone — especially your kids.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of family law experience to every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.
