Even when they know deep down that their marriage is headed for divorce, most people have a hard time making the final call. They play devil’s advocate with themselves, waffle back and forth on if this is truly the answer and convince themselves that things will improve if they wait a bit longer. They wonder, “Is now the right time to get a divorce?”
We cannot blame couples for feeling this way. Divorce is a painful, disruptive, and life-altering event. One minute, it’s absolutely the right decision, and the next, it’s not. So how do you know if now is the right time to get a divorce?
Perhaps these questions will help you decide once and for all.
Have you tried everything?
A marriage is worth fighting for, so start here. Have you tried to talk to your spouse, and are either of you making headway in those conversations? Have you asked for help — from a marriage counselor, your pastor, or even family members who have been in your shoes? None of those avenues is a guarantee, but you should never decide to walk away from your marriage unless you know you have tried everything. If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, then consider pushing the divorce decision off for a little while longer. If you are continually running into a brick wall, perhaps now is the time.
Is your spouse no longer willing to fix the problem?
Trying to fix a marriage and avoid a divorce is a two-way street. You put forth all the effort in the world, but your spouse must be willing to put in the same effort. If your spouse no longer cares and is not trying, then the problems that exist become too much for one to overcome alone. If you have been doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship for months or years and not getting anything in return, perhaps now is the right time to get a divorce.
Can you afford to get divorced?
Divorce is not cheap for either party. How are you going to pay for it? How will you take care of divorce expenses at the same time as your other bills? Do you even know how much your divorce will cost? In other words, have you spoken with an attorney? These are not easy questions to answer for many couples. If money is tight and other factors have you reconsidering if now is the right time for divorce, perhaps you should wait. If money is not an issue, and you know it is time to pull the proverbial trigger, then work together with your lawyer to take the next steps.
Are you or your children in danger?
Family violence is a real thing. These life-threatening situations happen more often than you think and include everything from emotional abuse to grabbing and shoving, sexual abuse, and assault with a weapon. If you are in this situation, now is absolutely the right time to get a divorce and remove yourself from the situation.
Will your children be better off?
Speaking of your children, they did not ask for the problems you are having in your relationship. More times than not, a child is stuck in the middle. Would they be better off if you go ahead with the divorce? Will they be happier? Will they feel more secure? If the answer is yes, then now is the right time to get a divorce. If your children aren’t better off, maybe you and your spouse should look at ways to work together toward an easier breakup.
Is infidelity a recurring problem?
A spouse who cheats once and shows remorse can be forgiven and taken back by their spouse, and the marriage can be saved provided that they both continue to work on what tore them apart in the first place. If a spouse continues to cheat, lie, and add insult to injury behind your back, there is little you can or should do.
Do you know in your heart that divorce is the answer?
Sometimes, you just know that it’s the right time to get a divorce. Perhaps you have been thinking about divorce more and more with each passing day, or you’ve begun to realize how much happier your life will be once you are no longer in this situation. Even if the feeling is hard to verbalize or explain, but you know it is the right decision, then perhaps it’s not such a difficult decision after all. Give yourself permission to end the marriage and move on.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
A divorce is a significant, life-changing event, and the effects of this difficult time will undoubtedly be felt for a while. But if you can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and your family, perhaps this is the right time to push forward with a new life. Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today!
For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.