Some people are relieved and itching to move on as soon as their divorce is final. However, others believe it will be impossible to mend their broken heart after a devastating divorce.
It’s not hard to see where the brokenhearted are coming from. Divorce is a significant and life-changing event with a heavy emotional burden and fear of what the future holds. This is especially true for a spouse who didn’t want the divorce in the first place. They feel blindsided, betrayed, angry, and alone. The good news is that while your heart may feel like it’s been ripped to shreds after a devastating divorce, it’s not impossible to mend it with a little time and patience.
Here are 8 ways to mend your broken heart after a devastating divorce:
Allow yourself to feel everything
When you’re hit with the eventual barrage of emotions and heavy grieving “stuff” that follows a devastating divorce, it can almost feel like you’re trying to drink from an out-of-control fire hydrant. The natural reaction is to protect what little of your heart you have left — so you bury those feelings deep down inside. For the people who do that, it probably means mending their broken heart will take longer. You will feel all sorts of pain and emotions (grief, anger, denial, fear, sadness, depression, guilt), but allow yourself the time to feel and process all of it. However long that takes is fine, too. Get through today, and then deal with tomorrow.
Stay away from social media
Just as you should be careful with social media during a divorce, you should follow the same rules immediately following to help mend your broken heart. It can be easy to get caught up in answering questions from nosey friends or looking at old pictures of good times long gone.
Keep things as normal as possible
Your current reality is what it is, so no amount of lying around in bed with the blanket over your head is going to help mend your broken heart. One of the best ways to face these problems is to get back to your normal routine as soon as you are able. This can include getting the kids to school or practices on-time, going to the gym, and doing your best at work. Granted, this is easier said than done, but you have to try.
Focus on improving your support circle
No one should go through a devastating divorce alone. You need support, and improving that support circle is a perfect remedy for a broken heart. Maybe it’s your parents, the friend from high school who has been by your side after all these years, or a close co-worker. They need to know you need their love and grace now more than ever. And the odds are high that they’ll be quick to help in any way they can.
Again, easier said than done, right? Still, it’s important to take the time to separate yourself from all the negativity. Go on vacation with your children, visit friends you haven’t seen in a while, and spend more time with family members who were there for you – and we’re positive – throughout the divorce. Do what you think is good for your soul.
Keep the kids out of it
The decision to get a divorce can often consume spouses when they finally face reality together, especially if they’re trying to mend their broken heart after a devastating divorce. To save your children from the potentially toxic effects of a divorce, make sure you act cordially with your ex-spouse and keep the children out of it. Children can struggle with change, and as parents, you need to do everything in your power to make sure they feel safe and secure. They need to know their parents love them, and that this is not their fault. When it comes to mending your broken heart, nothing helps more than spending more time with your children.
Don’t rush into dating
Don’t worry about the fact that you don’t feel like dating right away, even when your friends tell you otherwise. This is normal, and the odds are high that you could benefit from staying out of any serious relationships for a little while. All new relationships are exciting, but when that wears off, you’re left with all the hard work that led to your divorce – and the likelihood that you picked someone just like your ex is really high. I recommend waiting at least six months before getting involved with someone else.
Know when to ask for help
No one is prepared to deal with the emotions of a divorce, even if it’s something you know is for the best. This is where sitting down one-on-one with a counselor, your pastor, and even a psychologist can help you process your feelings quietly and confidentially and help you adjust to change. When people find that they can’t mend their broken hearts after a devastating divorce, it’s time to ask for help.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
We hope you found this blog helpful, especially if you’re trying to mend your broken heart after a devastating divorce. Nelson Law Group, PC is invested in you and your family, but we also know the law. Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue.
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