Manage Your Fear of Divorce. It can be frustrating when someone offers unrealistic advice on managing your fear of divorce. Maybe it is a neighbor you have confided in or a best friend, and they say, “It helps to simply not think about it” or, “There is no need to be afraid.” You want to tune everything out, move forward, and think of happier things — but all of that is easier said than done.
They are not the ones whose life is about to change forever. And not knowing what that will look like is scary.
I am not going to pretend there is a magic answer to managing your fear of divorce. Just hearing the word “divorce” elicits unrelenting stress, anxiety, and anger. And when you add in the legal process of lawyers, courtrooms, side arguments with your spouse, money, and all those big decisions, you feel hopelessly emotional and mentally unprepared.
But with all of that said, there are practical tips out there that can make managing your fears a little bit easier.
Stop accepting unrealistic advice
Your friends are just trying to help, but their advice is not always helpful or practical when they have never been in your shoes and cannot understand your fear of divorce. That does not mean you should shut your ears to everyone, though. Seek guidance from a priest or clergy member. Visit with a therapist who can help with the emotional piece of divorce. Talk to your divorce attorney. Talk to friends who have overcome their own marital difficulties. What were their concerns? How did they overcome their fear? What worked for them that might work for you?
Write it down
What are all the sources of your fears? Write them down, even if they seem silly or irrational. Next, prioritize these problems, fears, and concerns and focus first on the ones you think you can overcome now vs. later. Journaling your fears is a practical solution to managing anxiety, reducing stress, and coping with depression. It also helps identify your fears and gets them out of the corners of your mind so you can come up with a plan to resolve them one by one.
Educate yourself on how divorce works and demystify the process. The more you understand what you are facing, the better. Also, be more aware of your marital situation. For example: what does your financial situation look like? How many accounts do you have together or separately? Where is all the important paperwork (taxes, deeds, life insurance documents, etc.)? What is your budget? What evidence do you think you need before you meet with a lawyer? If you educate yourself, your fear of divorce lessens, and the chances of getting the outcome you want increase exponentially.
Visualize a positive future
The future may be uncertain, but if you had your way, what is the best-case scenario for you? What does that look like, specifically? What are the obstacles you might face (finances, work, where you will live), and what are the best solutions to those problems? If you have a plan in place, you begin focusing on what you can do vs. what you cannot do. And God willing, the stress of the here and now will subside.
Put trust and faith in your lawyer
One of the easiest strategies to manage your fear of divorce is to avoid trying to tackle everything on your own. Just like you are okay with turning your tax paperwork over to your CPA, let your lawyer do the work and worry about the next steps for you — especially the technical stuff that scares you. Realize that you are not going through this divorce alone when you have a lawyer. They are there to offer guidance and illuminate every dark corner.
Focus on your children
While it’s true that divorce can flip your entire life upside down, don’t get so preoccupied and fearful that you forget about the impact it is having on your children. Be with your children. Have fun with them, and show them how much you love them. You will be surprised how less fearful you are if you focus on living in the moment with your children.
This almost sounds too good to be true, but taking a few minutes every day to do something as simple as breathing in for five counts and breathe out for five counts is easily one of the best ways to lower stress in the body and reduce your fear of divorce. The American Institute of Stress endorses several breathing techniques and even a few tools to help you master your breathing and stop the stress response that typically comes with difficult events such as divorce.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need a trusted advisor to guide you through each stage of your divorce and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of experience in family law to each and every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A Nelson, click here.