Divorce is a significant, life-changing event. Depending on the events that led to the breakdown of your relationship, you may be overcome by divorce anger and feelings of betrayal, hate, depression, and even remorse over your role in everything — even if what happened really is not your fault. While these emotions are normal, we caution you against letting them get the best of you. This is especially true with divorce anger, which can significantly impact the outcome of your case.
In every divorce, it is important to talk with a family law attorney who listens to your concerns, provides you with practical answers to your real-world questions, and opens your eyes to hidden factors most people do not consider.
Is Divorce Anger Really a Thing?
The American Psychological Association defines anger as “an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.” All of us have been angry before, and when managed appropriately, it helps us express our feelings and motivate us to find solutions to problems. But constant anger is corrosive — to ourselves and our relationships. It is important to treat the divorce process as a business transaction and leave your emotions out of it.
Here are a few ways divorce anger can impact the outcome of your case and how to avoid it.
Negotiating will be harder.
When divorce anger gets the better of one or both parties, they risk closing themselves off to a more amicable divorce strategy. Communication breaks down, everyone is on edge, negotiating on even the small things becomes impossible, and the process is ultimately dragged out longer than it should be. Consider being civil instead, even if your spouse does not deserve it. Treat them with respect, give a few inches when appropriate, and show that you are willing to work through some of the bigger demands so that you can both move on.
Divorce anger makes you less logical.
Letting divorce anger take over affects your ability to think clearly and concentrate. It also causes you to become more irrational and accusatory. As a result, you are more likely to look at everything through a negative lens and even reject explanations and solutions that are actually beneficial to you. You can still be angry, but it is important to think before you speak and not act on anything until you have had a chance to separate yourself from the situation and come to a space where you can think clearly and make objective decisions.
You will act poorly in court.
Allowing your divorce anger to take over a family law courtroom by losing your temper, screaming at your spouse, not following directions, making rude or petty side comments, and even showing disinterest in the case is a surefire way to make the judge mad. Anger paints you in a negative light and ultimately unravels your case. Be courteous to the judge, attorney, opposing counsel, and even your spouse.
You will want to destroy your spouse’s life.
If you have been wronged in your marriage, it can be extremely tempting to spare no expense in making your spouse’s life miserable financially, emotionally, legally, and even in public. But in the grand scheme of things, is it worth it? Consider taking the high road by only doing what is necessary to get divorced and go your separate ways.
Divorce anger can cost you money in attorney fees.
The court system is already expensive and time-consuming. And you are likely paying good money to retain a knowledgeable and compassionate lawyer. Therefore, it is important to avoid wasting anyone’s time by discussing your anger or anything else that does not benefit your case strategy. Let your lawyer take the wheel and do the heavy lifting for you and stay focused on providing them with whatever they need to keep the process moving forward.
Your relationship with your children can suffer.
Regardless of what has happened in your marriage, your children deserve to have a relationship with both parents. Divorce anger puts kids in the middle as mom and dad battle it out in court and tear each other down. Be kind, honest, and sensitive when discussing things with your children. Do not play the blame game, use anger and resentment to get your point across, or stand in the way of them having a great relationship with their other parent. It is important to remember that your negative comments about your spouse can negatively impact how your kids view their other parent or even themselves.
Divorce anger can impact your custody arrangement.
Family law courts will always do whatever is in the child’s best interests. Your actions in and out of the courtroom will influence those decisions, especially when determining if you are the best parent to facilitate a meaningful relationship with the other parent. Stay calm and focused on your children. Do not let divorce anger jeopardize your family and future custody arrangements.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
We truly believe marriage is worth fighting for. But if divorce is the answer, you need a trusted advisor to guide you through each stage of your divorce, help you deal with the stress that naturally comes with that, and create an environment where you have control of divorce. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of experience in family law to every case.
Call our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC, if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A Nelson, click here.