Marriage isn’t easy, even for the people you think have everything figured out. Personally, I think anyone who is in a marriage that has any substance has days where they’re like, “Man, I want out of this!” But they really don’t. They know that despite the rocky times, they prefer to work things out together. They don’t exhibit the signs of an unhappy marriage.
So what is an unhappy marriage? And what are the signs?
An unhappy marriage is when one or both spouses feel like being married is a chore rather than something they look forward to. Maybe their marriage started strong, but now they’ve drifted apart. Problems that were once small or trivial have spiraled out of control — they don’t talk, they don’t show affection, and they’re just going through the motions. All they know is things aren’t good, and they aren’t even sure if they are still in love.
Knowing how to recognize the signs of an unhappy marriage is the first step in making sure your relationship doesn’t go down a similar path. Here are six signs of an unhappy marriage. Do you see any of these in your relationship?
You’re not even fighting anymore
The hope is that even after your grittiest arguments where each side feels they are the one in the right, there’s an opportunity to communicate, hear the other person’s perspective, and ultimately resolve the conflict. Couples that aren’t even bothering to fight anymore aren’t interested in the possibility of growing as a couple and repairing the relationship. They are emotionally disconnected, which is one of the telltale signs of an unhappy marriage.
Your partner isn’t willing to get help
The ability to have a healthy relationship requires two people, not one. You may want the relationship to work, but one clear sign that your relationship is in trouble is when your partner isn’t willing to get help or work on resolving the issues as a team.
Lack of communication
Perhaps the biggest of signs of an unhappy marriage is when you simply stop talking, even when on the surface, nothing appears to be wrong. You have no desire to share with your spouse how your day went or what you’re feeling or going through. In fact, you may be sharing exciting news or failures with friends or someone else instead. You use to call your spouse to say you’re on your way home, but now you don’t, and if you do communicate, it’s only through one or two-word text messages.
You’re not each other’s priority anymore
You or your spouse have taken the priority off each other and placed it on more hours at work or prioritizing other people in your life. The days of spending quality time together and the occasional date night have been replaced by falling asleep early on the couch and forgetting the other person exists. If your spouse isn’t the priority in your life, your marriage will remain in an unhealthy place, or end completely.
Physical or emotional abuse
This is a no-brainer for any relationship. If there is physical or emotional abuse of any kind, your relationship may be past the point of no return. And for your sake as the victim, that may be a good thing.
Lack of intimacy
A red flag for any relationship that’s on the rocks is if there is little to no intimacy. More than just sex, lack of intimacy includes kissing, hugging, or hand-holding. If you can’t bring yourself to show affection to your spouse, then your marriage is definitely an unhappy one.
How can you get your unhappy marriage back on track?
If you feel disconnected or unhappy with your marriage but still want to avoid divorce, consider meeting with a marriage counselor or someone in your life who exhibits the signs of a happy marriage. Unlike the neighbor who went through the nasty divorce, these are couples who faced the exact same battles you are going through (infidelity, distrust, financial struggles, etc.), pondered divorce, and found a way to reconcile. How did they do it? What changed in their relationship?
More often than not, they can inject a healthy perspective into a bleak situation. This improves your decision making and shows you and your spouse why your marriage is worth fighting for.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
Believe it or not, your lawyer is also a great person to confide in. At Nelson Law Group, we pride ourselves on giving practical and sound advice — whether it’s to save your marriage or walk you through the steps of divorce. Your family lawyer should be compassionate about families and the impact a divorce has on the people who make up that family.
Give our knowledgeable staff a call if you have any questions regarding this or any other issue. For more information about Brett A Nelson, click here.