You never thought you would be saying or thinking this, but you cannot help but wonder if there is a way to improve your new relationship with your former spouse after divorce. You certainly do not want to get back together—the divorce was tough on everyone, and after all the things said and done along the way, you both know it was the right decision in so many ways. That said, you want the best for them as you each attempt to rebuild your lives separately.
While these thoughts are undoubtedly catching you off guard, they are natural. Many clients we work with at Nelson Law Group—even the ones who recently emerged from one of the darkest times of their lives—crave a peaceful future for themselves, their children, and even their former spouses. But they often wonder what they can do to ensure that happens.
Fostering a positive relationship with your former spouse after divorce takes work, but here are a few tips to get you there.
Having a Positive Relationship With Your Former Spouse After Divorce Is Possible
Cooperate and communicate
Prioritize communication if you do not want life after divorce with your former spouse to be adversarial. Sure, establishing healthy boundaries and guidelines for how and when you will communicate is important now more than ever. But when you talk, keep a clear mind, be respectful in all situations, and be open to a bit of give and take as you both navigate this new journey. This is especially true if you have children and are working through a new co-parenting
Keep their relationship with the kids strong and loving
Your kids should feel like they can be open with you about the relationship they are having with their other parent. Talk positively about the other parent and celebrate the good times they are having. If your child asks you to do something, always say, “Let me discuss that with your mother or father.” Give the appearance of a united front, and never undermine the other parent.
Do not dwell on the past
Dwelling on the past is corrosive … for you, your kids, your family, and any positive relationship you hope to have with your former spouse after divorce. It also does not get you any closer to living the life you want to live. Focus on the present and let the negative memories fade away. If your spouse struggles to overcome their negative feelings, be open to talking through those over a cup of coffee. Listen, accept your role in the divorce, and find common ground.
Respect their new life
It is essential to respect and even celebrate your former spouse’s choices in their new life. That includes decisions regarding career changes, new relationships, honors or awards they may win from work, milestones, and other personal choices. Be happy for them, and make sure they know you are genuinely excited for them. In turn, they will be more likely to reciprocate those feelings and actions and want a peaceful relationship with you.
Be patient
Divorce is hard, and while you may be ready to have a positive relationship with your former spouse, they may not feel the same way about the transition at first. This is completely natural. Healing takes time, as does establishing a new relationship with your former spouse. Be patient, and your once-tense relationship may evolve into mutual respect.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of family law experience to every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.
