After your divorce, there may come a point when you want to take your next serious relationship to the next level. This is a great thing — you deserve to find love again. In the back of your mind, though, you cannot help but wonder if it is truly possible to have a better marriage the second time around.
After all, those who wed multiple times face a higher rate of divorce. At least, that is what divorce statistics say. I believe that a factor in this higher rate of divorce in subsequent marriages is the tendency of divorcees to jump into a new relationship too fast without processing what went wrong in their marriage and their role in the demise of the marriage — which ultimately repeats the same mistakes that doomed their first marriage. With all that said, how can you buck this trend?
Here are a few things you should be doing now to ensure a better marriage the second time around:
- Make sure you know your future spouse on a deeper, more intimate level and that they know you.
- Each of you should define your wants, needs, and expectations to ensure a better marriage the second time around.
- Be open with your future spouse about your previous marriage, including what went wrong and your role in the marriage’s demise (If you cannot see your role in the demise, that is a red flag). It is essential that you answer any questions they may have so that you enter your new marriage with zero secrets.
- Dive deep into your emotions and ask yourself if you have fully moved on from your previous marriage. What feelings may still be lingering, and what about yourself should you still be working on?
- Understand your triggers and vulnerabilities to ensure a better marriage the second time around. Make sure you can talk about these areas with your future spouse.
- Create a spiritual connection. Couples have a better chance of growing closer when they share some form of spiritual connection. After all, there is a saying that “couples who pray together stay together.”
- Consider a longer courtship with your future spouse, or do not tie the knot too quickly once engaged.
- Seek couples counseling or premarital counseling and engage in the process. You will only get as much benefit as the effort you put into the counseling. Believe it or not, you do not have to be experiencing problems to see a counselor.
- Pay attention to and address any possible red flags sooner rather than later. Someone (possibly you) who has problems with alcohol, finances, or managing their emotions will likely bring those into the new marriage.
- To have a better marriage the second time around, talk to your children and get their opinion in an age-appropriate way. Ensure you hear them, as you do not want to set your future spouse up for failure in your children’s eyes. What do they think of you getting remarried? Do they have a good relationship with your future spouse? What are their hangups?
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of family law experience to every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.