When you are recently divorced, it is easy to fall into a negative headspace. After all, you genuinely believe you did everything you could to be a devoted spouse and loving parent, and now all of that—well, at least the marriage part—is in the rearview mirror. The emotional wounds from that are still fresh, and not only do you feel angry and bitter, but you may also wrestle with feelings of failure, guilt, or even shame. Routines and financial stability have been turned upside down; the idea of co-parenting is necessary but also overwhelming, and the uncertainty of what comes next only adds to the weight you are already carrying.

The next thing you know, someone is trying to tell you there is still plenty to look forward to—and you cannot help but roll your eyes.

How could there possibly be anything to look forward to when everything feels so heavy? While we do not pretend to have all the answers to your unique situation, it helps to view divorce as nothing more than one chapter of life closing. And the good news is that there is always another chapter to follow. With time, healing, and a shift in perspective, you will start to see it, too.

In the meantime, here is a brief list of things to look forward to and get excited about for the first time.

10 Things To Look Forward to When You Are Recently Divorced

We shared a few of these helpful tips in a previous blog post several years ago. Still, our team of dedicated family law attorneys continually seeks additional ways to provide value to our clients. So, here is an expanded list of tips, tricks, and life hacks to consider.

Learning more about yourself

With every negative event comes an opportunity to learn and grow in the aftermath. For so long, a significant chunk of your identity has been tied to being in a relationship and sharing life with someone else. While that is not a bad thing, taking this time to learn about who you are, who you want to be, why you are where you are, and who you can reach out to for therapy is an opportunity for growth.

Recognizing you are stronger than you thought

All too often in life, we are unaware of our capabilities and the strength we possess (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) until we are placed in situations we did not anticipate or never imagined being in. Once your divorce is in the past, and you are faced with moving forward—especially if you have kids to look after and be a good example for—you tend to notice extra strength emerging. This is a very special feeling, and this newfound strength can propel you to places you never thought possible if you give it time.

Spending more time on your health

The odds are pretty high that you were not thinking about your health when you were in a toxic relationship, followed by a brutal divorce process that dragged on and on. This is your opportunity to stop emotional eating and spending hours a day sitting in front of the TV, feeling sad and directionless. Go to the gym, take a daily walk, and participate in a yoga class. Your health is the top priority.

Surrounding yourself with social support

Being recently divorced is a wonderful opportunity to separate yourself from all the negativity that took over your life for all those months and years. Go on vacation with your children, reinvest your time and energy into friends you have not seen in a while, and reignite other meaningful relationships. This includes spending more time with family members who were there for you throughout the divorce. Do whatever you think is good for your soul.

Finding out who your real friends are

A divorce can splinter friendships in an instant and expose people for who they really are. This applies not only to you or your former spouse. It applies to family and even people in your inner circle who have been your friends for decades. Try not to look at this as a negative. Take a hard look at who really fills your cup (and vice versa) and focus on strengthening those friendships. Also, do not be opposed to making new friends. Even if your friend list is intact after a divorce, we could all use more friends.

Setting your own goals for a change

Now that your identity is not tied to a relationship, it is a perfect opportunity to set some exciting goals for yourself. Perhaps you want to go back to school and become a teacher. Maybe you simply want to take that trip around the world that was always talked about but never followed through on. Whatever your goals are, set them and focus on achieving them one by one.

Opportunities for financial flexibility

Whether you realize it or not, newfound financial freedom comes with being recently divorced. Granted, many people who go through divorce need time to get themselves back on their feet financially, which can include finding a job, securing a place to live, and getting their finances in order. If you were not the manager of the household finances, it is a great idea to sit down with a financial planner and get educated on ways to protect yourself and your family moving forward. But that does not change the fact that your money is yours to spend. No more sharing bank accounts or waiting to go on that vacation you have always wanted. Once you are in a position to do so, enjoy your financial flexibility.

Extra time for solitude

Solitude is not the same as being alone. It allows you to separate yourself from other people’s expectations and learn how to be more comfortable with yourself when there is no one else around. Forbes published an interesting article that lists several benefits of solitude, including increased productivity, sparking creativity, helping you create a plan for your life, and building mental strength.

Opportunities to be more intentional about spending time with your kids

Your children’s lives will be impacted no matter how your divorce shakes out. And even before that, parents often become so preoccupied with the process that they forget their children are stuck in the middle. The most important duty you have as a recently divorced parent searching for things to look forward to is to show your children that they are loved and not alone. This is your chance to be more intentional about the time you spend with your kids and show them that they are your priority.

Being more choosy with your next relationship

All new relationships are exciting, but when that wears off, you are left with all the hard work that led to the divorce you just went through. On top of that, the likelihood that you picked someone just like your ex is really high. I recommend waiting at least six months before getting involved with someone else, and make sure you identify where your former relationship went wrong and how to avoid the same missteps. And when you do, take your time and be more aware of what you want and need from that new relationship.

Call Nelson Law Group Today!!

Regardless of your legal matter, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward—inside and outside the courtroom. The Nelson Law Group brings decades of experience to every mediation case.

Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.