Susan and her husband, Frank, have been happily married for 12 years. About six months ago, though, Susan began feeling as if something was not right. Frank was spending more time at the office and becoming emotionally distant at home. She also noticed he was taking more phone calls and texts from his secretary — including on weekends. Frank swears he is not cheating, and that may be true physically. But all signs point to Frank having an emotional affair.
You have probably heard the term “emotional affair” and wondered if that’s even a thing or if it is really considered cheating. Sadly, it is. In fact, an emotional affair can be even more devastating than finding out your spouse is having a sexual affair.
What is an emotional affair?
An emotional affair is best defined as an inappropriate emotional closeness with someone other than your spouse. Most people call it cheating without the sexual relationship, though it is often a gateway to full-blown infidelity. It may start harmless enough as a friendship — perhaps with a coworker, classmate, or neighbor — but over time, one or the both of you begin to experience feelings and a strong emotional bond toward one another. In turn, the new emotional connection you have with this other person emotionally pushes you further away from your spouse and hurts your marriage.
Most people who are in an emotional affair do most or all of the following:
- Spend more time together outside of work
- Secretly text or call each other
- Daydream about their friend
- Share thoughts and feelings with each other instead of their spouse
- Spend more time on the computer
- Believe that they understand each other better than their spouses do
- Feel some level of sexual tension between them
- Buy each other gifts
- Lie to their spouses
- Spend less time with their spouses
- Become defensive about an apparent emotional affair
What to do if your spouse is having an emotional affair
If your gut is telling you that something is not right, and you feel as if your spouse is a little too close with their friend, the first step is to have a conversation. Often, the spouse who is having the emotional affair believes deep down that they are not doing anything wrong. They will likely become defensive, and an argument could ensue. So rather than go into attack or blame mode, simply explain to your spouse how their actions are making you feel. Let them know you are hurting, that you would like to discuss the situation constructively. When discussing the concern, ask your spouse how they are feeling about your relationship and what they think you can do to help improve it. Yes, acknowledge that you have a role in where your current relationship is….
This may not be resolved in one conversation, either. It may take several and could also call for speaking with a professional, but it is an important first step to saving your marriage and reconnecting as a couple.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
An affair is an affair, whether it’s physical or emotional. Hopefully, you and your spouse can talk openly and reconnect. But if you feel that divorce is the answer, you need a trusted advisor to guide you through each stage of your divorce and help you deal with the stress that naturally comes with that. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of experience in family law to each and every case.
We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available.
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