Now that your divorce is official, the last thing you probably thought about was how you were going to survive your recent divorce during the holidays. We can’t blame you if it wasn’t top of mind, but here we are. Halloween is right around the corner, followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and New Year’s.
Things are about to get festive, and it’s a time when families are used to coming together. Yet yours feels broken and splitting off into different directions. Naturally, you feel empty, lonely, and a little angry — but mostly sad.
We aren’t going to sugarcoat it: surviving your recent divorce during the holidays is rough. The good news is that everything will work out just fine if you keep your eyes on what’s most important.
Here are 7 ways to survive your recent divorce during the holidays:
Focus on the kids
This is usually the first thing on every list we have ever created in our weekly blog posts — and for good reason. Kids always come first. As difficult as it may be to get into the holiday spirit, you must remember as a parent that your children need as much normalcy as possible — especially during the holidays. So make them your focus. If you focus on what your kids need and less on what you want, you will find the holidays much easier to navigate. Ensure they feel loved and are happy, maintain as many family traditions as possible, and do not be opposed to including your former spouse in a few of your plans. The kids should never have to choose between parents during the holidays.
We all need a little more gratitude in our life, especially after a divorce. Instead of focusing on all the bad things that have happened to you, look around for what is still going good and what you can be grateful for (friends, family, your children, your job, the roof over your head right now, etc.) Having more gratitude in your life is your choice. You can focus on what is missing, or you can focus on what you’ve gained or can gain from this difficult experience.
Cut yourself some slack
Maybe this is the holiday season that does not quite stack up with the rest, and that’s okay. Make the best of it and give yourself some slack if the Christmas tree does not go up the day after Thanksgiving, or you aren’t capable of stringing lights along the top of your two-story house. Make peace with the season and the way you feel.
Surround yourself with family and friends
Your marriage may be over, but that does not mean treasured relationships with family and friends must end, too. No one should be alone during the holidays, so do not be afraid to lean on others for support. Maybe it is your parents, the friend from high school who has been by your side after all these years, or a close co-worker. They need to know you need their love and grace now more than ever. You would be surprised how the simple act of spending time with people who truly have your back can help you survive your recent divorce during the holidays.
Have a co-parenting plan and be flexible
Your co-parenting plan should include who gets the kids during certain holidays, which should head off any potential arguments and reduce stress. But do not be afraid to make new arrangements or go off-script. For example, maybe what your former spouse is suggesting is not such a bad idea and will make things easier for everyone. Take a deep breath and consider agreeing to it or at least meet them halfway.
Do more for others
The holidays are a time of selflessness and giving. This year focus on doing something for someone else who is less fortunate than you. There are several worthy causes to get involved with, and now is the time of year when they need more volunteers. An example is Mission Moms, which serves its community through everything from mobile meals to backpack drives, and more. The point is this: refill your cup by doing more for others during the holidays.
The more organized you are, and the more you can plan ahead — even for little things that will make a big difference later — the easier it will be to navigate these uncharted waters and have a somewhat decent holiday season. Things may not look exactly how you are used to them looking, but at least you will have a plan.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
A divorce is a significant, life-changing event, and the effects of this difficult time will undoubtedly be felt for a while. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and your family — and it is possible to have a great holiday season.
Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A Nelson, click here.