Just when you thought you survived your first holiday season after divorce, you do a quick double-take and realize Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Granted, Valentine’s Day is not a recognized holiday like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and New Year’s. It is also just one day compared to the others. But it is rightfully a big deal for many people. You used to enjoy Valentine’s Day, but now the celebrations of love, romance, and relationships are reminders of what used to be.
You feel lonely and sad on the first Valentine’s Day after a divorce and are trying to hold it together, but you are only human.
We will not pretend that surviving the holidays and even Valentine’s Day after a divorce is easy. But our team at Nelson Law Group, PC, compiled this list of practical tips to help you survive the day as best as possible.
Focus on the kids.
As difficult as it may be to get into the Valentine’s Day spirit, you must remember as a parent that your children need as much normalcy as possible. Plus, they are bound to be really excited about it. So make them your focus. If you focus on what your kids enjoy about the day and less on what you want, you will find this day much easier to navigate. Ensure they feel loved and happy, maintain as many traditions as possible, and do not oppose including your former spouse.
Establish new traditions.
It may not be easy to let go of those long-time family traditions, but now is the time to create a few new ones. Maybe it is as simple as hiding Valentine’s candies around the house and having the kids do a scavenger hunt. If you are used to watching the same sappy love story on television, pick a new one.
Surround yourself with family and friends.
Your marriage may be over, but that does not mean treasured relationships with family and friends must end, too. No one should be alone for Valentine’s Day, especially if the day makes you feel sad. Do not be afraid to lean on others for support. Maybe it is your parents, the friend from high school who has been by your side after all these years, or a close co-worker. They need to know you need their love and grace now more than ever. You would be surprised how spending time with people who genuinely have your back can help you survive Valentine’s Day after a divorce.
Buy yourself something nice.
When was the last time you splurged on something nice for yourself? No rule says you cannot buy yourself something nice for Valentine’s Day after a divorce. Maybe it is a gift card for a spa day or tickets to a sporting event. You can even wrap it up with a note that says, “From me to me.”
Refuse to give yourself a guilt trip.
Stop giving yourself a guilt trip for everything that went wrong in your marriage and how they affect every holiday or special occasion moving forward. Embrace that things are different and give your kids something to be excited about — even if things are not the same as they used to be. If you do, you will be surprised by how quickly everyone will adapt.
We all need more gratitude in our lives, especially after a divorce. Instead of focusing on all the bad things that have happened to you and now having to deal with Valentine’s Day after a divorce, look around for what is still going well and what you can be grateful for (friends, family, your children, your job, the roof over your head right now, etc.) Having more gratitude in your life is your choice. You can focus on what is missing or on what you have gained or can gain from this challenging experience.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!!
If divorce is the answer, you need an advisor to guide you through each stage and help you deal with the fears that naturally come with that. We work diligently to achieve a result that ensures you receive what you are entitled to as you move forward onto the next stage of your life. The Nelson Law Group brings nearly two decades of family law experience to every case.
Give our knowledgeable staff at Nelson Law Group, PC, a call if you have any further questions. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A. Nelson, click here.