Avoid Financial Stress. People are funny about money. Like a small child, we spend most of our lives with this mindset of “that’s MY money.” We do this for many reasons, perhaps the biggest of which is that money is something we work extremely hard for as we get older. It’s a personal thing. So when we get married, it’s difficult to understand that it’s now “our money.” When couples struggle with that notion, it leads to financial stress in a marriage.
Believe it or not, financial stress in marriage is the No. 2 reason for divorce on many leaderboards, right behind infidelity. Destruction of financial trust generally occurs in one of two ways.
- One spouse feels like they are being controlled or taken advantage of when it comes to household finances.
- The spouse who is earning all of the money feels like the other spouse is wasting it.
None of this sounds fun, so what do you do to avoid falling into the same trap?
Below are 4 ways to avoid financial stress in marriage:
Trust each other
Eliminating financial stress in marriage begins with trusting your spouse and being on the same page financially. While it’s not a bad thing to have one spouse be the person in charge of all the money, it’s also not the soundest marital practice, either. There has to be a mutual effort where there is complete transparency — both spouses must be open and honest with each other, including having difficult conversations about our own money mindsets.
Create a budget
Create a budget, discuss it, and stick to it. Look at how much income is being brought in per month, then determine together how much of that money goes toward fixed expenses (house, car, bare essentials) and savings. From there, you will see how much discretionary income you have left. By doing this, the diligent saver in the relationship is okay with their spouse buying something nice every once in a while. Conversely, the over-spender honors the other spouse by agreeing to a budget and sticking to it.
Don’t blame — Mistakes happen.
Unforeseen issues arise. Playing the blame game when you start having money troubles in a marriage is a surefire way to create financial stress. We begin to distance ourselves from our spouses and possibly even resent one another. So instead of pointing fingers, sit down together to figure out what is really the root cause of your hardships. Being able to communicate and accept responsibility will help you navigate this crisis.
Many times, the financial issues couples face in marriage is bigger than two people can handle on their own. They need guidance, and there are plenty of resources out there. This includes family members, financial advisors, counselors, and even your friends. Don’t be stubborn; be open to any advice you can get.
Call Nelson Law Group today!!
My hope is for you and your spouse to realize that the difficulties you face in marriage are also an opportunity to grow. It may be painful right now, but see it through. Financial stress is just like anything else in your life, and as crazy as this may sound, you can’t experience the joy in life without the pain.
Give our knowledgeable staff here at Nelson Law Group, PC a call if you have any further questions regarding this or any other issue. Our staff is always available. Give us a call today! For more information about Brett A Nelson, click here.