Create a Stronger Marriage – My career as a family lawyer has afforded me the unique opportunity to evaluate relationships between people from most ethnic, social, and economic backgrounds. This experience has led me to five inescapable actions that we must take if we are going to create stronger relationships.
Get Right With God.
Too often I meet with a client and, they complain about what their spouse is doing or not doing. When this occurs I generally remind these clients that love is an action, and that divorce is the worst financial move they could make. What I’ve learned in my own relationships and through the practice of family law is that if we focus on improving our relationship with God, our other relationships improve, because we are working on our own issues rather than finding fault in others.
If you sense that you owe someone an apology, you do. Learn to apologize often (especially when you think you have been wronged too), and be sincere. If you find that you are repeatedly apologizing to the same person or for the same actions, talk with someone so you can figure out what is driving this choice or behavior.
Honor is a verb – an action, just like love, and it means to regard with great respect. So honor your spouse and others in general, and you will find that they will honor you because you are acting honorably.
Focus on the Reasons You Got Married
People always come into my office telling me what they can’t stand about their spouse. I always ask if they saw these qualities when they first got married. Inevitably, the answer is yes! The moral of the story is to focus on the good in all things and be grateful. Doing so will make it easier to notice the positive, yielding a better marriage and a happier life.
Be Role Model
We all have heard that kids do not do what you say; they do what you do. Thankfully, I finally learned (at age 42) that my role model is Jesus, not a famous or successful person, or even my parents. However, as a parent I have an obligation to show our kids what it means to be Christ-like. Do I ever achieve His perfection? Of course not, but while I am trying to meet his standards, I grow closer to Him and in turn learn to LOVE (the action) my wife more. Remember that, whether you have children or not, you have little people looking at you, and you need to show them what they should do.