5 Things You Should Do After An Argument With Your Spouse – There isn’t a married couple on the planet that doesn’t get into an argument from time to time. From small spats over who has more access to the TV remote or who’s turn it is to do the dishes to relationship-threatening struggles over finances, abuse, and even infidelity, confrontations are bound to happen and test your resolve as a couple.
As a family lawyer, the spousal arguments I see truly run the gamut and most people feel the answer to some of the most egregious ones is divorce. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not all arguments need to end in divorce.
Marriage is a commitment, and it takes hard work.
So what do you do when the argument is because of your thoughtless actions? You could start by apologizing, but that’s not always good enough. Here are five things you should do after an argument with your spouse.
Stay calm
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, don’t throw gasoline on the fire. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is escalating the situation by losing control of your emotions and point fingers at the other person – especially when you’re the one at fault. Take a step back, recognize you started this, and allow your partner to vent their frustration. They may be raising their voice, but that doesn’t mean you have to also.
Give your spouse space
Most men think the answer to getting back into their spouse’s good graces is to shower them with gifts, apologize profusely, and try to talk about the problem until the cows come home. Many times, the best solution is to allow your spouse to have the space they need to process their thoughts and emotions without feeling pressured to fix things immediately. Maybe that will take a few hours, or it could take a few weeks. Either way, allow them to talk on their terms, not yours.
Show that you’ve made a heart change
I mentioned earlier that apologizing doesn’t always fix everything. You have to accept ownership for the actions that led to the fight, and you must take the necessary steps to do a self-evaluation and make a heart change. If you are truly remorseful, you will be able to show that to your spouse through your actions over time.
Give your spouse the emotional validation they deserve
When it is time for the two of you to sit down and talk about the argument, spend more of your time listening, empathizing and learn to see things from their perspective. Sometimes, you are completely in the wrong, and your spouse has every reason to feel the way they do. Don’t walk away when the conversation gets tough, and don’t make light of anything. Let them know you recognize their pains, and that you can see how much you hurt them.
Seek good counsel
If your spouse wants to end the marriage and you want to remain married, seek counsel. Talk to people who are successful at marriage for advice, and don’t overlook the option to see a professional marriage counselor. If the answer truly is divorce, make sure you consult with an experienced family lawyer. The person you retain must be willing and able to speak truth into your life in this emotionally devastating time.
Call Nelson Law Group Today!
There is a lot more that goes into this conversation. Give our knowledgeable team here at Nelson Law Group, PC a call if you have any further questions regarding this – or any other – issue. Our team is always available.
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